*Arunaa recommends the Daily Delight brand of fresh-frozen grated coconut, which you can find at Indian grocery stores. She likes the consistent texture and the fact that it has no added sugar. Keep it frozen until an hour before you plan to use; then move it to the refrigerator to thaw.
Heat oil in wok. Add cumin, mustard, asafoetida, and turmeric powder. When the mustard splutters, add green chili peppers and curry leaves. After 1 minute, add bell pepper and sauté until the pepper is soft. Add cabbage and salt, to taste; cook until cabbage is soft (but not mushy). Remove from heat. Stir in coconut and cilantro just before serving.